Does Money Make the World go Around?

Emotinally for me I would say it definately does.  I have expereinced Happiness, Sadness, Guilt, Embarrasement, Excitement, Greed and now relief.

Back in 1995 my whole life took a big change, there I was single, working hard partying and enjoying life to the max. 

Started a new job and met my husband to be.  Never planned on getting married, my whole family have been divorsed and remarried at some point.  1996 we were married, I insisted we paid for our own wedding as not to burden our families with debt (how ironic that was) .  We had two full time, well paid jobs but no savings.  So……  we took out our first loan to pay for our wedding, no problems we could repay with ease.

Great, we moved into our two bed house, needed furniture, so took on a credit card. Due to our different places of work we required two cars.  We took finance out on one and bought an old banger.  Ok not ideal paying for a car but it was nothing flash and this was “normal” wasn’t it?

So, a year later our daughter came along, all payments were up to date everything was rosey.

Four months later I returned to work, childcare was ok as I got a petrol allowance for travelling to work and this covered the fees along with my petrol.

We required things for our daughter and decided to get a store card to buy the essentials with good intention of paying back large amounts monthly until it was paid back in full.

How easy it was to pay by card, too easy.

We took our first holiday, Our good friend Visa paid for it.  Along with meals, clothes and other bits and bobs we felt we “NEEDED” whilst we were away.

Baby no 2 came along in 1999.  We were paying back our small amount of debt at this stage (In comparison to now ) but decided that with another baby here we would take out a consolidation loan to cover our bills and give us a bit of breathing space.  I remember feeling excited that the loan was accepted and paying off our friend Visa was a nice feeling.  What we didn’t do was befriend Visa at this point.

Our house that we had been renting was burgled and vandalised in between tennants, so whilst the insurance claim was taking care of repairs etc, for the next 6 months we had to pay rent and mortgage and two lots of childcare, on top of regular existing bills and of course our consolidation loan.

Up until now we had managed, at this point we began to live off of our cards for food and petrol at the end of each month, and to draw cash to pay bills.  Due to a recent move of house my petrol allowance had now been reduced by less than half.  Our old banger had decided to “crock it” and we had no savings (Still).

We increased our cards to cover another second hand car, after all how else would I get to work?

Now I was sitting down and writing out an expenditure list for the following month to make sure we would be able to cover our bills.  That was the first time I felt concerned about our finacial position.

In 2001 I had the oppurtunity to gain a better job but would have to drop in wage for 9 months to do a course to get this promotion.  It was only 9 months, we should cope with that.  The problem was our childcare fees were £1100 at this stage and my wage was only £750 per month.  Our vision at this point was to pass the course, get promoted and be back on a healthy wage again.

Those 9 months felt like 9 years.  I worked well into the early hours on the computer and weekends were catching up or preparring for the week ahead.  I had little time to concentrate on my young family and I look back with regret at that now.  I HAD to pass so felt I had no choice.

It came to light that we were hunting around the house for pennies to raise enough cash for a loaf of bread,  we had to do something.  We decided to sell the house.  My husband had bought the house in the 80’s when the market was high.  Selling it 10 years later we hoped we would raise enough cash to walk away with our debts paid and a little in the bank.  How nieve.  We had £500 after the fees and mortgage were settled, not much for 10 years.  A year later we would of made 50K plus, that would of been the end of this torture.  Hiensight is a wonderful thing!!

So consolodation loan no 2.  What a great feeling almost as if we were in the clear and would not worry about money for a couple of months again.

The course finished, I passed, got promoted and my wage went up to £1200 per month, that was a great feeling.  Although the dark shadow of two large loans and the cards etc were still a burden.

In 2003 we bought another house in the hope of renting for a while waiting for the market to rise and selling in hope it would clear our debts.  We took out a loan with the mortgage which was a great idea as we could pay “All” of our debts of and have the one payment.  BY this stage we were in serious debt.  Baby number 3 came along and my husbands job had taken him to the south of the country which would mean seperating the family.  After a lot of thought, endless feelings of guilt etc we decided I would give up work and move with the family to my husbands new job which afterall paid the most money.

I tried to get work but found nothing that was sufficient in wages to pay the bills along with the childcare.  We began selling items, alot of which we had paid on credit, just to get through some months.  My husband took some casual cash in hand work to help at the end of the month.  We were existing, it was a horrible time.

Our friend Visa kept increasing our limit and also we got to meet American Express and Mastercard, who proved to be more than accomodating at the petrol station and Asda.

Clothes stores offered us 10% off “just sign here”.  It was all so easy.  When you are that desperate you no longer comprehend the amount of spending, it really didn’t matter after all we already owed so much.

It came to the point where we could no longer cover our outgoings and our friend Visa and his mates had moved onto some other poor person in need of his friendship.

I contacted  a company I found on the interent (Debt Repayment Company) they got our outgoings down from £1600 amonth to £125!!!  I felt relieved and so glad they could help.

I remember the gentleman coming to our house being extremely sympathetic and telling us how he could help us get out of this terrible mess.  I also remember feeling shameful, guilty, embarrased and more worried that the neighbours knew what was going on.

Before signing up to this company I did a bit of research on the net, I am so glad I did.  I learnt that these companies are not suitable for people like myself who owe so much money and also that the interest and letters etc would not stop.  £125 per month sounded like my prayers had been answered but realistclly I would have been paying this well into my 90’s!!  Why did he forget to tell us this part???

So whilst delving into the large info available I came across some information about IVA’s, never heard of them before and became very interested in what they could help me achieve in 60 months.

I approached a company and very gingerly told the friendly man exactly how much we owed and to who.  At that point I felt sick and very ashamed of how extreme our problem had become.  I felt in denial that we could have possibly  spent that amount of money. 

So, the process of my IVA began.  Several sleepless nights, constant panic of being rejected, Many trips to the postbox, were some of the things we experienced over the next few weeks.  Waiting for the post(For once) in hope of the letter confirming a chance to rebuild our lives again.  Infact the only thing I remember that was pleasing at this point was we no longer had phone calls or nasty letters from our creditors.  That was alone a blessing.

I came across this website and sat for many hours reading the questions and answers, many of which I wanted to ask but didn’t have the guts.  Once i had realsied that I wasn’t the only person to have made some mistakes or experienced hick ups in my life I began to face the fact I owed money and began feeling positive that I WAS doing something about it.  I no longer felt embarrased discussing it on the phone, afterall the IVA company I am with are there for people like myself. There were people who owed more than us.  The whole feeling of the Forum is of great reasuurance despite what ever financial background we have come from.  I only wish I had heard of this site long before we had became out of control.

The funny thing is we are now a family of 6 with less money coming in than we orginally started out with, yet we are much happier and have control of our financies.

Money isn’t the be all and all it certainly helps, it just needs to be managed.

I know I have rabbited on a tadge but felt I am at the stage where I no longer feel ashamed to let people know within the safety of this forum, as I know I won’t be judged and possibly may be able to help someone who is in a similar position as we were.

We are now 17 months into our IVA and there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

Thanks for reading. b